More surprises

A day or two after my resolution to keep a journal of “surprise” moments, I wondered how often I’d be able to update it. My Sunday was particularly uninspired. Ah, but then Monday came along with some startling news.

  • moment of surprise: I might not have a job come July. Oh, trust-funded positions, and your vague, one-to-three year terms.
  • why it surprised me: I thought I had at least another year before dealing with renewals (plus, the main exhibit I’m working on doesn’t open until 2019!). Then again, I’d been explaining the somewhat precarious nature of trust positions to people over the holidays, so it’s not like I hadn’t been thinking about the possibility of moving on. I think what surprised me the most was how immediately the wave of anxiety hit me, particularly when I learned I’ll have to re-apply for the job I currently have. Even worse, I’ll have to compete with my coworkers for the spot, so no matter what happens, one of us is getting the axe and everyone will be depressed. These are people I like and respect, and I can’t imagine our team with an empty seat.
  • what this tells me: The pessimist in me is taking away the lesson that no one is safe, ever, and that I was naive/shortsighted to assume that the position would be extended. In more scientific terms: I was given information and then forgot to incorporate it into my plans. A slightly more rational part of me realizes that I am probably nervous because I dislike the job application process, and I have no idea how to interview with people I already work with. This news also challenges my usual positive outlook. In the past, I always just figured that things would work out and each new job would yield valuable experiences (and in fact, that’s how things played out). Now that I have a job I really enjoy—in my career field, no less—I’m worried I’ll never find another that’s as satisfying.

Well, at least 2015 won’t be boring!

examining a dinosaur

Today’s surprise: it’s me examining a dinosaur. So science, much wow.

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